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Wednesday 12 September 2018

'Now that I'm dead'




Now that I'm dead
I can look over it all
(With sorrowful eyes and simpering mind)
To see where I went wrong
And when I went notright.

Before I was dead
I'd been alive for nth years.
Years of infinite bliss... et cetera -
Except for the many bits which weren't.

How it was to be me.
For I am I.
I sang merrily on life's journey
In a voice of pure beauty.
In the heydays of my youth
I charmed ladies with my quadratic equations
Perfectly-creased pants
Symmetrically-parted hair
And solid-plastic specs.

I died so as to save the world
From all the smearers, sniffers
And doubting hodgepodgers -
All stuck in their cocoons of indifference.

Oh Jesus! Help me forgive those buggers
Who have crossed me.
Those scoundrels who laughed at my pants.
And the evil women who spurned my great charms
And infinite wit.
For if I had my way,
I'd crucify the lot of them,
Then put their kids in the Gulag.

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