Please Wash Your Hands

One

Please wipe your own bottom.

Please leave the toilet seat down.

Please wash your bacteria-infested hands.

Then please leave this public convenience.

Oh, please breathe. And please eat.

Please don't drink too much.

Please please others.

Please don't please yourself.

Please mind the many gaps.

Please meanz Heinz.

Please put your hands in the air,

Spin around wantonly,

And then jump through a EU-certified loop.

Finalistically, please be with you.

Two

Please wash your hands.

Please make sure that the water is wet

And made of H₂0 molecules.

The water should be, please, between 20°C and 23°C

And flowing downward (not counter-gravitationally).

Hold the soap betwixt the thumb and forefinger

And then add water to get a spunky froth

Of between 1 cm and 1.5 cm cubic volume.

Finally but not leastly, make sure the soap has been officially certified

By the BBQ, the VOV, the ECT and the D-fucking-MT.