Listening to Shark Music in My Bath

When I get home-sweet-home

(After working a hard three-hour day),

I'm gonna have me a loooong... looooong bath -

Perhaps for five or six hours.

Whilst in my bath 

(Which is 8-by-8 foot and triangular in shape),

I'm gonna listen to some spiritual shark music -

Which'll be accompanied by a soothing sitar

And the sweet panpipes of Islington.

Then I'm gonna burn a hundred candles

Which'll exude the deeply-spiritual scents

Of the mystical East... of Anglia.

Then, while still in my deep... luxurious... bath

(Soaking away my hard-day's travails

In fenugreek baths oils

And a scented bubble bath

Made from the tears of a dolphin),

I'll get my spanking-new iPhone out

To do some share deals,

Pay the kids' boarding fees

And arrange another holiday abroad.

(This time in spiritual Cambodia.)

I'm fact, I'm feeling a bit spiritual right now.

Yes, the very thought of Bath Enlightenment

Has got my spiritual juices flowing...

But, firstly, I'll need to go to the cash machine,

Draw out a few hundred quid,

And then pop into The Body Shop.