The Rhodes Boyson Particle

There's a new particle in town, man!

The guys and gals in white coats

Have called it the Rhodes boyson.

Blimey! It's even smaller than a tennis ball.

And it lives just everywhere -

Even in the seat of your pants.

Technically, the boyson binds things to things

And makes up stuff.

It has a negative charge of £100 an hour,

The sly momentum of a fat pig,

And the spin of a sleazy politician.

It's also believed (by people!) that nth boysons

Can dance on a tabletop

Or travel through the eye

Of a fucking huge needle.

So what about the Rhodes field?, you ask.

The Rhodes field is green

And it penetrates everywhere

(Excluding the Simon Cowell).

But wait a cotton-picking minute!

The boyson is made of smaller particles -

The Slim whitmans.

Yet no one's ever seen a Slim whitman -

At least not in the flesh.

Rhodes boysons, however, can be seen

(At least on a clear day)

Floating happily in the aether

Or dripping sadly into drains.

Finalistically.

Never!... and I repeat...

Mix your boysons with your bosons

Or even with your barryons.

For, if you do,

You'll have a confusion of particles

(Of the like you've never seen)

Raining down on the collective bonce.

All hail to the Rhodes boyson!