The Long Hike to the End

How about a song?

You know, that song of the world,

The life I never lived in. Never lived.

Never came close!

This world…

This one, right here, right now,

Is my world. Is mine…

It’s been such a long time.

I know nothing of anything else.

But now’s no time for envy.

There’s so little time and so little to do.

I’ve forgotten that song anyway.

But I’ll sing on, regardless….

My muscles are tightening.

But then I am flesh and blood.

The clouds are darkening.

I’m getting there!

Who’s going to see me off?

Hello? Hello? Anyone there?

If there’s anyone with a memory of me,

Think only of the good things...

If they were any good things.

Perhaps they’ve gone too…..

No. It’s only me.

Always the solitary I.

The one for-himself and with-himself…….

I’m alone.

Always have been, alone. Always.

Will be till this coming end.……..

I’m flooding in pissing rain!

A dog? A dog! A goodbye sniff ‘n’ lick, perhaps?

No. He’s off into tomorrow.

Me? I’m off too.

Slowly - within the mist of my final fling……….

This final fling.

I refuse, now, to sing that fucking song

Of the life I never lived.

The world I never lived in!

Never came close to living. Never came close.

The rain: will it end?

When I end?

Will I end?

Will I? I will……….

My body’s going.

The striving’s ending.

The long hike to the end is butover. Soover………..

Butover in this filthy cave.

Still struggling on to that cherished end.

That comforting end.

Sweet yes!…………

Now it’s me; only me. Myself. I…………

My eyelids are falling………….

Body’s now ending.

Nearly gone………….

Heart’s ………….. stop……………..ping……………..

I’m………………. gone.