The Friend Collector

The Friend Collector – a perfect social networker.

She fills in all her blanks.

Blocks out her social voids.

Makes sure she's never alone

With her fearful thoughts.

Her diaries are full to the brim.

Her mobile abounds with names.

She ticks off friends on her social register -

Who will fill her time and give her something?

If someone smiles a fake smile -

That person is hers for life...

As long as that unit fills some space

And Blocks out her personal void.

On Monday, it's a dinner party with Sue.

Tuesday, a gig with Mary.

Wednesday, a coffee morning with Jane...

It doesn't matter what a friend is like -

Right-wing, left-wing, no-wing, bright, dumb, genius, serial killer -

As long as it fills her void.

As long as it can chat - endlessly chat.

Any sign of complication (from any person whatsoever)

And she runs for cover.

What she wants is a chat-machine,

Not a complicator.

Not a nuisance or a character.

Any dummy or manikin will do -

As long as it's programmed to smile and chat.

Put clothes on a speak-your-weight machine and she'd be happy.

You can't engage with a friend collector.

That's because collecting friends is the aim.

So don't express anything that will thwart that aim.

Don't ask questions or be inconvenient.

Be, instead, another Friend Collector.

Be another person collecting other friend collectors.

Collecting friends is the beginning and the end.

Don't upset the balance.

Don't pollute her perfect space.

She's sucking her dummy

And hoping for a comforting world.