It’s not my fault that I’m a human being…
It’s not my fault that I have flaws, emotions, vices.
It’s not my fault that, as the purest altruist, I always put myself first.
It’s not my fault that the world stretches only as far as I can see.
It’s not my fault that I always desire more and more… and more.
It’s not my fault that I wrote a best-selling book called How Not to Desire More and More… and More.
It’s not my fault that I egotistically transcend the ego.
It’s not my fault that my Transcendence of Self does my self so much bloody good.
It’s not my fault that I feel so good about not feeling so good about myself.
It’s not may fault that I rise above the snare of money only in word, not in deed.
It’s not my fault I often talk about not talking about my charity work.
It’s not my fault that I wear a t-shirt which says "I Care So Much" — which was the product of a child’s 14-hour workday.
It’s not my fault that I want Social Change only as long as that change doesn’t affect my lifestyle.
It’s not my fault that I have two decent cars because I definitely need two decent cars.
It’s not my fault that I need a wide-screen television in every room.
It’s not my fault that my Soul requires at least four foreign holidays each year.
It’s not my fault that I’ll only shop in M & S and never at Pound Shop.
It’s not my fault that I refuse all wines that go for less than a tenner.
It’s not my fault the World requires my carbon footprint in order to decrease its own carbon footprint.
It’s not my fault that I hate the Haters with a perfect hate.
It’s not my fault that I foam at the mouth in response to people who foam at the mouth.
It’s not my fault that I’m hugely intolerant of the intolerant.
It’s not my fault I believe Bigots should be hung, drawn and tortured.
It’s not my fault that I only believe in free speech for those who believe exactly what I believe…
It’s not my fault that (as the poet put it) when someone pricks me, I bleed.
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