'I'm planning to take over the world'

I’m planning to take over the world.
Yes, all of it.
Not a bit of it.
All of it.
I’m planning to take over the world
In order to wrong all rights…
Sorry, to right all wrongs.
So this is more or less imminent.
It’s gonna happen.
It’s gonna happen soon!
Yes, it’s gonna happen on June the 31st or June the 32nd.
And at precisely the right time.
Not the wrong time.
Neither before that date nor proceeding it.
So, ladies and gentlemen,
Please put that date in your diaries!

You ask: Why right the wrongs?
I answer: Because the wrongs aren’t right.
And I’ve got the Perfick Solution
To all the badnesses —
All those damn evilitudes -
Of our sorry, oh-so-sorry world.

The world needs me.
It needs me to rectify all rights…
Sorry, all wrongs.
It needs me to cleanse all the sucking scum
From the Drains of Life
And from the human body.
It needs me bring Light, Joy ’n’ Peace
To every nook and every cranny on earth.

I’ve assigned myself to this Great Task.
And I’m well up to the job.
I have both the goodness and the skills
To create a beautiful Year Zero -
A New Age of Niceness and Loveliness.
And age in which all people will love all people -
With no exceptions… except all the obvious exceptions.
A world in which evilitude will, finally, be dead.
Gone.
All bad gone for good.

So please pray for me.
Pray that this final day of reckoning
Will achieve Universal Peace ’n’ Loveliness
Without much fuss, ado,
Or too many hiccups…
Sure, a few eggs will be broken
When making this heavenly omelette.
But, in the end, it will be worth it.
You will see.
All of you will see.
And, when you do,
You’ll also see that I am the New Lord.