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Tuesday, 27 July 2021

Cocksure

Image from Pixabay.

 


Why the hell is he so cocksure?
Fuck only knows!
No - I do know.
He’s cocksure of himself, as himself.
Full stop.
Cocksure of himself… simplici-fucking-ter.
No need for knowledge, skills or...
Being who he is, is enough.
Existing as himself… enough.
Why should he try for more?
Why should he try at all? 
But why, you ask?
Because he is, as he is in himself -
And by pure definition — all that’s required.
His mummy and daddy told him so.
Told him so many times.
And he listened well.
So they created this man 
You now see before you.


© Paul Austin Murphy 2021

[I can be found on Twitter here.]


Saturday, 24 July 2021

The Seasons: "Ah yesterday!"


 


It’s all-too-easy to forget the last good summer 
When you’re sunk deep in a bad winter. 
Just as it’s all-too-easy to forget a good winter 
When you’re sunk deep in a bad summer. 
So once a dreaded season has returned, 
The good one is erased from mind.
It’s strange, then: come the end of summer,
That final event — the final full stop -
Never seems as fearful as dreamt of.
And even the feared features of winter 
Quickly become routine to us.

We paint the past — even yesterday -
In deep colours: good-bad.
Paint it garishly.
We sweeten-sour past events too.
So feelings don’t reflect realities: past-present.
We cannot trust their truth.
Feelings are crude.
Outright fantasists
Keen to exaggerate. 
Keen to blame.
Keen to turn black white, and good bad.

“Ah yesterday!” 
Yet yesterday was hell too.
Just as today is heaven.
Ah today!
So be right here.
Be right now.
Be.


*) The words “Ah yesterday!” are from Samuel Beckett’s play Endgame.

© Paul Austin Murphy 2021

[I can be found on Twitter here.]



Monday, 19 July 2021

Do It!


He wants to be.
So he should be.
He thinks it’s funny.
So it is funny.
He thinks it’s worth saying. 
So he should say it.
Yes! He should rip hard
And fuck the Other’s judgement.
The Other knows nothing.
Faith in the self -
That’s all it takes.
No… not even faith -
It’s truth, not bullshit.
Don’t wait for the Other’s nod.
So do it.
No matter what -
Do it!


© Paul Austin Murphy 2021

[I can be found on Twitter here.]


 


Saturday, 17 July 2021

John is a Spacetime Worm

Image from Unsplash. Check out the philosophy of spacetime worms here.

 


When John was a little kid, 
He was nowt much at all.
But, as a teen, he became a spotty almost-something.
A little later, he was a fierce x-ist.
And, at 25, he was a fierce anti-x-ist.
At the grand old age of 35,
He might have been a fierce x-ist again -
But he didn’t and he wouldn’t.
So to go backwards again: as a older less-spotty teen 
He passionately believed x… for a day.
Then passionately believed not-x the day after.
And, the week after that, he fervently embraced y -
Only to jettison y when z came along.
Yes indeed — John’s views shifted like waves on a sea.
Sometimes John can’t even recall who he was last week.
And has no idea who the hell he’ll be tomorrow.
In fact John doesn’t know who he damn-well was 
Before all this worming around began.

Nothing much of John’s young body remains — 
Save a neuron here and another cell there.
Not much of his mind remains from childhood.
Sure; he retains some silly quirks — 
But they’re few in number.
It’s also allowed that John’s 35-year-old face 
Is somewhat similar to his 30-year-old face.
Which, in turn, was somewhat similar
To his 25-year-old face. Etc.
Yet his of-coursely wise 35-year-old face 
Is a stranger to his callow 20-year-old face.

A spacetime worm is a runner 
Who passes the baton to another runner
Who passes the baton to another runner…
Yet each runner is the self-same.
Each runner is the same worm.
So John is a spacetime worm.
He passes on something, I know not what,
From John the Worm to John the Worm to John the…
Tomorrow John won’t be as he is today.
Though he’ll still, somehow, worm his way 
Into tomorrow from today -
Just as he’ll worm his way into the day after tomorrow.

So isn’t there at least a little something — 
I know not what — 
Passed on from John the Worm to John the Worm to John the…?
But what, exactly, is that something?


© Paul Austin Murphy 2021

[I can be found on Twitter here.]

Friday, 9 July 2021

This Moor...

My photo of Keighley Moor in a misty March. It’s in Yorkshire, northern England.

 


… has as much right to be eulogised about 
As any Amazonian rainforest. 
As any sun-drenched beach.
Sure; there are few artefacts here.
Or museums teeming with culture’s vultures.
And not much nightlife either…
Save for the curlew crying
And the roaming fox.
True; it’s not this-year’s resort. 
And no one claims eternal sunshine. 
Yet there’s as much to contemplate here
As any other oft-named place.
So this moor is its own thing.
It is… what it is.
What else can it be?
What else should it be?
So what it is… is enough.
Enough for the mind.
And enough for the soul. 
This is where you can simply be.
For endless hours… one can be.
This is where you feel at home. 
This is a place to be at peace.
This moor offers something else. 
And that something else… 
Is beautiful, too.


© Paul Austin Murphy 2021

[I can be found on Twitter here.]

Thursday, 8 July 2021

Fuck the Other! (A Victim's Ballad)

Image from Unsplash.

 


“Fuck the Other!
I’ll take him out for leaving me out.
Damage him good and proper.
Leave him on the roadside…
And, yes, all that to let me be.
To be myself.
Let myself rip -
Rip at the world the Other rules.
To breathe.
That’s all.
Is that too much to ask?
Is it?
To be myself?
Myself.
Me.
Me.
I…
One more thisness among many.
One so-far crucified, ever so sharply,
On the Other’s rank ego.
To be myself…
And now… to take on all-comers?
Do you know what it’s like -
Even for one pure second -
To be a nothing?
To be a nobody?
Imagine it.
Imagine it well.
And then you’ll understand…
To simply be myself.
Is that too much to ask?
So what sins did I hide?
Tell me.
Where was I going wrong?
What the fuck do I need to do
To free myself from this mountain of shit?
Yet I love its shit-smell comfort.
The deeper I am within it,
The more secure and at home I feel.
Do you get that?
Do you?
Don’t lie to me.
Don’t lie to me fucker!”


© Paul Austin Murphy 2021

[I can be found on Twitter here.]

Tuesday, 29 June 2021

His Poem Won't Come


 


His poem won’t come.
No — it simply won’t come!
He squeezes and he squeezes…
And it still won’t come.
Sure; sometimes he doesn’t even try.
He doesn’t even squeeze.
Too busy wi’ shit for that.
He expects poems to infest his brain
And demand total attention.
To be born fully-formed,
Then simply notated.
And sometimes he’s so lazy…
So fucking lazy!
And even when special lines 
Do take control of his brain,
He still doesn’t work on them.
Too busy wi’ shit for that.

Poetry is hard work -
Or at least it can be.
Creating good lines is tiring.
Brains eat up energy
Like limbs digging graves.
Poems must be sculpted.
Words put in their right place.
If Dylan Thomas spent a long month
On a solitary line,
Then surely no poem’s ever born whole -
With all its limbs in the right place.
Yes; some poems get squeezed out… slowly -
Like babies who don’t want to be born.
Mythic inspiration is rare -
It doesn’t always come a-knocking.
So he must use some force.
He must contrive things.
Make the mundane dramatic.
He must grind and sweat a little.


© Paul Austin Murphy 2021

[I can be found on Twitter here.]