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“Fuck the Other!
I’ll take him out for leaving me out.
Damage him good and proper.
Leave him on the roadside…
And, yes, all that to let me be.
To be myself.
Let myself rip -
Rip at the world the Other rules.
To breathe.
That’s all.
Is that too much to ask?
Is it?
To be myself?
Myself.
Me.
Me.
I…
One more thisness among many.
One so-far crucified, ever so sharply,
On the Other’s rank ego.
To be myself…
And now… to take on all-comers?
Do you know what it’s like -
Even for one pure second -
To be a nothing?
To be a nobody?
Imagine it.
Imagine it well.
And then you’ll understand…
To simply be myself.
Is that too much to ask?
So what sins did I hide?
Tell me.
Where was I going wrong?
What the fuck do I need to do
To free myself from this mountain of shit?
Yet I love its shit-smell comfort.
The deeper I am within it,
The more secure and at home I feel.
Do you get that?
Do you?
Don’t lie to me.
Don’t lie to me fucker!”
© Paul Austin Murphy 2021
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